


you’ll never know how many dreams i dream about you

by howisbucky



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Endgame Fix-It, M/M, correcting steve’s character arc, lil bonus for ffh, no Peggy/Steve, we love natasha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-18 21:29:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20319793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/howisbucky/pseuds/howisbucky
Summary: “what’s it like, steve?”“what? the future?”“being able to love him for the world to see.”“god. it’s worth everything, peg.”or, a rewrite. because i’m angry.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> yeah so endgame was a tragic mess and very disappointing. if you think steves arc made sense pls leave bc you won’t like this. 
> 
> aka lil glimpses of scenes going the way they should have.

natasha catches a glance of the photograph as she moves to stand next to steve. it makes her breath hitch and she will forever deny the tears that sting behind her eyes. her voice is steady when she says, “this is going to work, steve.”

“i know,” he replies, expression solid and unrevealing. “because i don’t know what i’m going to do if it doesn’t.”

she says nothing more as he folds the photo of sam and barnes and places it in his suit pocket. 

-

“i went in the ice days after losing the love of my life. i come out, and he’s here. i finally get him back, and he turns to dust with my name on his lips.”

the faces staring back at him show no surprise at this. it’s not news. 

steve’s hands shake as he continues. “i haven’t cleared the grocery list on my fridge in five years because it’s the most recent written proof of my best friend’s existence that i have. i visited wakanda last week and bucky’s hair combs are still on his bathroom sink and it brought me to my knees. i keep telling you all to move on and that makes me a hypocrite. it’s hard, it takes time. we’re all just trying our best.”

he sleeps in sam’s shirt that night, with natasha laying beside him. 

-

“you fucking idiot.”

the sound brings tears to his eyes and a smile so wide it hurts. he turns to the voice and is met with a metal fist to the shoulder. “standing up to an entire space army alone? steve, are you–“

he cuts bucky off by pulling him to his chest and squeezing him there tightly. “i’m sorry.”

“don’t start,” bucky muffles into his suit. “please don’t go there.”

“okay,” steve agrees. “i missed you.”

“oh, steve,” bucky pulls away and cups his face, wiping tears away with his thumbs. “i can’t even imagine. it’s really been five years?”

before he can answer, he hears a sudden whoosh of wind, and a thump of feet on ground. “hey, you know i hate third wheeling, but i’m feeling really left out right now.”

bucky lets him go to fall into sam’s arms, as the sobs fall from his throat involuntarily. sam hugs back with equal fervor, “steve, it’s okay.”

“i lost her, sam,” steve chokes out, feeling the way sam’s words die in his throat as he hears the words. “she sacrificed everything to save everyone and i couldn’t do the same for her.”

“hey,” sam says in his ear, but his voice is shaking. “you know she made her choice. that’s nat. don’t spit on her decision.”

“you’ve gotten worse at therapy since you became a fugitive,” bucky commented, only to be met with a middle finger. 

steve pulled away and let out a chuckle. “fuck, i’ve missed you guys so much.”

“yeah, yeah,” bucky rolled his eyes, but his smile betrayed him. “don’t get all sappy about it.”

and then they started getting shot at again, and that was it. 

-

“don’t do anything stupid until i get back.”

he can see bucky tense at the words, but he responds anyway. “how can i? you’re taking all the stupid with you.”

steve grins, but it falters at the look on bucky’s face. it’s not until after they hug and he picks up the case that he realizes why. he immediately drops it to pull bucky into a kiss, firmly stating, “don’t look at me like that. i’ll see you soon.”

he can see the hesitation on the other man’s face, but takes the nod anyway and steps onto the platform with the case in hand. “ready.”

-

“what’s it like, steve?”

“what? the future?”

“being able to love him for the world to see.”

“god. it’s worth everything, peg.”

-

as bruce counts down, bucky is already turning away from the platform and preparing to make an exit before the tears fall. but as he reaches one, theres a bright flash from the corner of his eyes and he spins around to see the love of his life grinning back at him. 

“miss me?” steve teases, placing the round bag against a tree and moving to pull bucky into an embrace just like the one they were in ten seconds ago. “c’mon buck, five seconds isn’t that long.”

“but–“ bucky shook his head, “why did you come back?”

“what do you mean?” steve frowned. “i told you i would.”

“you could’ve gone back to her,” he said, “you could’ve had a life worth living.”

“you’re my life worth living, buck,” steve told him honestly. “this is my life. you and sam and our friends. i wouldn’t give that up for another life i had decades ago. i couldn’t do that to you.”

“didn’t you love her?”

“of course i did,” steve nods, tightening his grip on bucky’s hands. “but i also loved you. and i still do. and if i could have done so openly seventy years ago, i would have never promised her that dance.”

bucky had to close his eyes for a moment and catch his breath. “i don’t understand.”

steve was patient and continued. “i knocked on peggy’s door and danced with her like i promised. i told her i had to come back to you. she had her own life to live, and who was i to disrupt that? i did warn her about hydra, though, and asked her to slap howard in the face for me. then i made her promise she would get you out.”

“you– you saved me?” bucky whispered incredulously. 

“well, peggy did, i hope,” steve nodded. “how many times must i tell you that i’m here for you and that i love you? bucky, i’m not leaving you. and if it takes the rest of my life to prove that, then so be it.”

-

they have a funeral for natasha, because they were her family. 

-

“you never showed us what was in that case you brought back.”

steve grins as sam mentions it, and moves from his place on the couch to grab said case from the wall it’s been leaning against for hours. “it’s a present for you.”

“man what piece of crap could you bring back from the ‘40s that i would want?” sam teases, trying to deflect from the fact that the bag is heavy but balanced and it’s round and large and shaped exactly like–

the shied gleams back at him, whole and unbroken. the colors are bright and it feels wrong in his hands. “what is this?”

“c’mon sam, i know you’re not that dumb.”

“shut it, barnes,” he says without venom, eyes still focused on that star in the center. “steve.”

“it’s yours,” the man replies simply, sitting back on the couch as if this is no big deal. 

sam thinks this is a very big deal. “no, it’s not.”

bucky rolls his eyes as steve proceeds. “it is. it’s not mine anymore, i can’t have it. i think i have outgrown the mantle of captain america, but i don’t think our country has. the people need someone to look up to and someone to stand up to what is happening, and i know you can do it. you’re a good man, sam.”

sam’s eyes are watering and he can’t stop running his hands over the smooth vibranium. “thank you. i’ll try my best.”

“i know you will,” steve smiles. “that’s why it’s yours.”

sam’s focus shifted to bucky and he smirked, “you gonna help me out, captain america’s sidekick?”

bucky’s answering smile was soft as steve intertwined their fingers together. “no, i don’t think i will.”


	2. bonus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> because peter should not have been the only available avenger.

“what are you doing here?”

sam rolled his eyes as he strapped his wings to his chest. “we might’ve been on different teams once, but i’m not an asshole. you’re a kid. i’m not going to let you fight mythological monsters alone.”

peter’s glare remained in place for a few seconds before it fell and he sighed. “oh thank god.”

-

“don’t throw the shield at it,” the new guy instructed. what was his name again? “he’ll absorb it and become stronger.”

“got it,” sam nodded, placing the shield on his back for safe keeping. “but he’s not taking my wings.”

“just don’t get to close,” beck – maybe – added, a nervous glint in his eyes. “it’s dangerous.”

-

peter was occupied trying to hold the ferris wheel upright and keep his friends from becoming lava, and beck’s magic green stuff wasn’t working fast enough for him. sam flew towards the elemental, attempting to get it to look up and straighten out so beck could get a solid hit. however, lava came straight for him and forced him to veer to his right. he winced as he expected to hit the side of the monster, but felt no disturbance in his flight. 

a clatter to the ground drew his attention, and he narrowed his eyes at the strange piece of tech that apparently dropped out of nowhere. as he got closer, he noticed the light coming out of one end. he looked back at the monster, and was just barely able to see a hole just at the top of the head. 

“holy shit,” sam swore, glancing around to notice that peter was losing his grip and beck was spewing some self sacrificial shit. 

only taking a moment to make up his mind, he took off from the ground and flew straight at the ‘elemental.’

“sam!” he heard the kid shout, “no!”

however, when he should have hit burning lava, he went straight through the projection, spinning in circles to take out as many drones as possible. they began dropping to the ground as the image flickered and died out. sam flew away and watch as the monster disappeared. 

peter had righted the wheel and was now staring at him in disbelief. “what–?”

sam ignored him and flew straight at beck, grabbing him by the collar and flying downwards to slam him on the ground. “you piece of shit.”

beck stared back wide eyed. “how did you–?”

“you see this shield on my back?” sam asked rhetorically, arms crossed. “it means i’m the captain now, motherfucker. and no one messes with my team.”


End file.
